We had a very bad quarrel on the 17 of April 2006(Monday midnight). The next day(Tuesday)was his exam, first paper. Some words came out from his mouth when we quarrelled and i cant believe myself that i heard them. I don't wish to list those sentences out. After hearing all the words from him i am disappointed. I dunno what to do to ease the situation. I am very stupid and i do not know how to answer/reply him, i remained silent. He doesnt like to see me keeping quiet and don't say a single thing. But i just dunno what to say. I am too stupid.

He did some comparison. At first i was not okay with it:no:. But after thinking through i am fine;). I want to stay happy. I do not want to cry that much. Last the me was a very crazy girl. I do not really know what is sad, disappointment and heart pain. Now i know it but i wish to still be the happy me.

I am currently thinking of some solutions and i want to be democratic. I try my best to make the solution the best way, fair to each other. I had some thoughts, but i do not know if i do this, is gonna be correct or wrong. Since yesterday, i have been thinking and thinking:??:. But :**: i still dunno if that's the corect thing to do. I give myself another week to think through. This decision must also see how he feels about it and how he will react to it. Maybe is to also for me to check how much he sees for me. Although the result comes out is not what i want, i will still be fair to it bah. I will try my very best to console myself and enclose myself out of everything.

Even when i think of the decision, i am already crying and feeling very sad and heartpain. However, this is what is needed to clear things up, either to look for a new route or to stay with this secret passage to reach the destination. Every route there are different environment and circumstances. Thing will be meeting are also different. How are we going to measure and compare with it. There are many things in the world we use to compare but there are some things that just cannot be compare.

He choose to compare, maybe he is correct too. He may think that's a better choice and a better route. Since so this route maybe not a correct one for him, he cant stay in this environment and circumstances. He also said this house cannot let a person like me to be in. As this is his house, the environment creator is him. Maybe i am also not suitable in here and C is more suitable over here. To him, he will accept more of her den me. I got more solutions and questions for myself. I need more time to evaluate them. Although i feel very sad and heartpain that i am taking all these steps but maybe this is also a solution that i can implement.