Sometimes past is the past. There is nothing to tell mi that she had hardship with you and you can let it down easily.

If the thing happened on me i had hardship with a previous guy then i tell him that i cant let it down easily and cried. What will he feel? Gosh isnt it a bit useless to tell me that.

He says i can understand yes i realli cant understand. Cos i am not the one who is in the picture. If i am the one i will tell him yes i understand. You want me to wait for so many years and yet still telling me this. How can i still accept it. You need 4 yrs to be officially divource and now you haven even start filing a separation. Do you think who will accapt such agreement. Now i am still at your side and i still support with my heart in wat you are doing. Isnt that good?

The house isnt mine yet i told myself i want to stay with him. The house isnt mine but beongs to him and the girl yet i always clean the house. Am i keeping the house clean for the girl instead of my own house? Guess wat he even told me that this house is your boyfriend's house you should love it and take care of it cos is your boyfriend's house. Okie well fine since he says that. If the house is his alone i will still accept this statement more but this house belongs not onli to him. So i am taking care of it for another person's sake. And during the last quarrel he even shouted he wont file a divource. He also said that i am nothing to him but C is at least his legal wife. He used such words to insult me. This is something i listen and can never forget. If he never want to file a divource how am i going to get peace in my mind?

I maybe hot temper but i notice he is too. I am clumsy in handling some things. SOmetimes i just drop the key he can somehow raise his voice abit and say "what are you doing?" Sometimes little things he also get his temper abit hot. Can you believe that even he is at his mum's house i just make a call to ask somethings. Then later in the house, he came home, he will question me with temper my mum is around why you ask so many question and take a ong time on the phone. Is that realli very long time. I will say NO i never talk much actually. Yet he is so unhappy. Tryig to hide me in the phone too? This is crazy ok. Guess wat during the festival to go pray ancestors at mandai, we arrived the same place. But before hand, he said that later if see each other dun act so close. I asked why he says he dun want later my mum know that he is married or wat. I come to think about it i really believe is not that case lol. Close will tell that mah? It is that he scared his family such as mum and brother and sister saw me. What the hell is this? Am i really a mistress? If so i will not want to be one and rather leave. Is so hardpain he give me that mistress feeling. He dun feel it but i do ok.

I also dun want to be the bad person, if his mum and other family members really duno what is going on with him and C. Next time they really found out about me they gets to blame me i really hate everyone. I will also hate him for sure.

I am lost le. I duno wat i am going to do so that i feel better. Someone just teach me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!